George M. Noblitt

PASTOR'S REVIVAL

 

In a small southern country church

Deep down in south Texas

I drove into the parking lot

In my brand new Lexus

 

I walked into the Sanctuary

Was greeted by a friend

Then took my regular seat

The last pew on the end

 

We all sang from the choir book

Then took up a collection

We spent a few silent moments

A time for reflection

 

Now the pastor rose from his seat

He moved to the pulpit

And we all knew today's message

Was filled with humor and wit

 

The pastor made church announcements

Went over the prayer list

He then started on the sermon

And pounded with his fist

 

As the pastor preached, people sat

Like zombies in a tomb

They squirmed and wiggled in their seats

And looked about the room

 

Now the pastor became silent

Filled with frustration

Oh 'Lord'! He cried from the pulpit

I've lost this congregation

 

Then he held up his hands high overhead

And looked for help above

And I heard the pastor say "Oh 'Lord'!

Given them a little shove"

 

Well the stained glass windows rattled

And the pews began to shake

The pastor hollered something

About Hell's fiery lake

 

He jumped from behind the pulpit

Landed on the Deacon's chair

He flung off his tie and jacket

While yanking on his hair

 

Well he started quoting scripture

All by chapter and verse

And he did it all from memory

Then he did it in reverse

 

Well the pastor became explosive

Spoke to the Holy Ghost

He told of our Salvation

And he thanked the heavenly host

 

Somewhere in between Psalms and St. John

In the corner of my eye

I was sure I saw an angel

"Go Pastor!" I head him cry

 

The pastor took Satan to task

He put the Devil on trial

He made his case to the whole dang place

I saw that angel smile

 

Well at the end of the sermon

The pastor called us down

He said come forth now you sinners

We all gathered around

 

Now I'll be here for evening service

I know it won't be dull

Cause I'm sitting in the front pew

Right next to that angel